Tuesday conversations in zippy's world...

I told him: "If I die tonight, tell everyone it was your fault for making me handle the one food on the planet I'm allergic to."

He told me: "Now aren't you going to feel bad if you really die tonight? Just for that, I'm not having your ashes turned into a diamond necklace. I'm having them turned into a concrete block instead. 'Oh, where's zippy?' they'll ask. 'That's her holding up the car in the drive' I'll say. Or 'That's her in the backyard working as a gate stop.' Or 'She's out in back holding up the fence post. If you want to see her, you'll have to dig a few feet or wait for a really good rain."

"Well," I say. "You'd look kind of prissy with a diamond around your neck anyway."

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"What was Bush expecting? Some Iraqi Republican to crawl out of the desert in a Brooks Brothers suit?"

-- him, upon seeing the news coverage of the latest Islamic leader calling for the removal of all American parties from Iraq and the installation of an Islamic political order.

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"Here kitty, kitty, kitty," I call for the cat.

"Here doggy, doggy, doggy, doggy," he says to the dog, already in his lap.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty," I call again for the cat.

"Who's the best dog in the whole house?" he asks the only dog in the whole house, now stretched across the couch on her back. "You are, yes you are, you're the best dog in the whole house." She stretches for more belly scratches.

"And people think we have no children."