-- this was moved from zippy's gene pool as it was there by mistake... whoops... please, no one tell my boss.



Two nights ago, mr. zippy and I were watching something utterly forgettable on tv and it prompted a conversation about who to notify in case one of us dies. Who to notify in case of his death isn't such a hard thing - I can count on one hand, maybe part of the second hand, how many calls that will take. But he's going to have his work cut out for him in case I go first.

"You know you'll have to email everyone in my address book," I said.

"I'll just tell Gary."

"I know a lot more people than he's aware of."

See, should I die before him, mr. zippy is depending on Gary to tell those to whom I'm closest. I think he thinks this will free him up to be miserable. But it's not very fair to expect one's friend to tell the world of your wife's demise, now is it? Besides, Gary might get all the folks we went to college with, but what about my doctor friend in Philly? or my student friend at Cambridge? or my writer friends in the UK? or the sci fi bloke Down Under? or the Belgian pen pal I've had since I was 12 years old who doesn't use email? how will they know to stop sending post cards?

Will he think to tell my estranged stepparents in Florida? They may not want to talk to me, but I'm sure they'd want to know it was time to throw a DING! DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD! party. Hell, it's five o'clock somewhere, they could get started early!

And he'll be saddled with the calls to the siblings. Sorry, love, truly. They'll both come unglued. Jimmy's already rocked me in wailing sorrow twice in my lifetime when he thought I was going to die. Huggy's just not got the capacity to carry the load.

Then, of course, he'll have to flip through my actual address book and find all those people I keep in touch with only via telephone and snail mail. Boy, no wonder he wants Gary to take care of it! Sounds like a lot of work already! I'm exhausted just writing about it! Poor fella.

But, thankfully, I thought about it and at least 150 people will be notified via email in one click of the mouse. The rest will just have to make due with the "I'm terribly sorry..." response to their Christmas cards or odd phone call after they've not heard from me in a while.

So, if one day you happen to receive an email from zippy sent to a group known as "DEATH NOTICE" ... be forgiving of mr. zippy and send out to the universe your prayers and positive thoughts for him, as his wife will already be embarked on the greater cosmic experience.