I ask myself, SELF, who's the dumbass???

and my SELF replies, You mean besides the eight assholes in Texas who set the homeless guy on fire?

Yes, I say to myself, YES, besides them - and the one in the White House.

WHO? WHO IS THE DUMB ASS??

I am the dumb ass.

The dumb ass is I.

Me culo esta muy tonta.

After two weeks of disc pain that has finally dulled to the amount of pain I've grown accustomed to over the years, the Spine Center I managed to get into muy pronto would not see me today.

WHY??

"Because you're a dumb ass," said they.

First, I left all forms of payment at home. All of them. Couldn't even prove who I was.

Second, nearly got hit twice on the drive over there.

Third, was met by an uber pleasant receptionist who said, "No, senora, no hoy tienes cita con la doctora. "

BUT I DID HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH LA DOCTORA, she said, ON WEDNESDAY PAST!

grrrr....

THANK GOD, I mean, truly, thank God, the pain has dulled. Otherwise this would be a bad bad thing. As it is, I'm merely having a bad start to the day.

Now I have to live with the pain of being a dumb ass with no one to blame but myself.

Fourth, another dumb ass rode my DICK on the drive home and at a red light actually screeched into the turn only lane, rolled down her window and said, "I'M SORRY. I'M IN THE WRONG LANE. I NEED TO GO AHEAD OF YOU."

"NO," replied I. "NO YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG LANE. YOU PULLED INTO THAT LANE HOPING TO PASS ME. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM DRIVING THE SPEED LIMIT. YOU ARE A DUMB ASS. "

and then she shot me with her bazooka but not before I hacked her with my machete. blood and guts were everywhere. it was a massacre. men with thick mustaches and very dark glasses took bets from bystanders on who would win the title of BIGGEST DUMB ASS IN THE CITY TODAY.

Then I came home, told mr. zippy and he just laughed and laughed and laughed.

Thankfully.