Over the weekend I accomplished three things:

1. The BEST POTATO SOUP EVER!!

See, mr. zippy had crowns put on his teeth on Tuesday last. Thursday last I fed him ribs. OY!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING??? (bad wifey)

So, Friday I hit the market for fresh everything, brought it home and said to myself, "Self, you watched your mama make this a million times. there's nothing to it."

then I doubted myself and looked in the cook book and sure enough, there was nothing to it.

So I kicked it up a little, added two cups of heavy cream, about a cup of water, half a pound of bacon, two chili peppers, black pepper, about a cup of fresh chives and let it all simmer w/ the potatoes newly blended for about two hours. MY GOD THAT'S GOOD SOUP.

even better the next day. it helps that it's mr. z's favorite soup, but he'd never had it so good. PREEN!


2. Hacked my way through the tomato brush

Having cleaned the house on Saturday, everything looking sparkly and purdy, I took my lard ass into the great outdoors and, w/ my machete and blow gun, worked my way through the tomatoes along the drive. Wild, snarled things; no room for sun light to peek through the dense underbrush to the wee green 'maters below. BUT THERE IS NOW!

after three hours of that, I started in on the roses... but by then it was getting dark and I could not see so well. knowing how our neighbor across the street - who's front window faces our newly beautymous lawn and rose hedge - LOOOOOOOOVES our roses, I decided not to chop in the dark.

HACK! HACK! HACK!
(journalist duck)

QVACK! QVACK! QVACK!
(nordic duck)

IN THE MEANTIME..... BEFORE I MADE IT TO THE ROSES... gosh, I almost forgot to mention the best part... I found a plump caterpillar with taut green, spotted skin desparately still and clinging to a tomato vine. It was as big as my thumb, I swear - the biggest caterpillar I have ever seen, bar none. Neighbor Ralph of Ralph's O.R.G. (Old Retired Guy) Garden of Eden across the street, beside the neighbor looking right at my roses, Neighbor Ralph says "I used to see those on my tomatoes all the time when I was a kid... but I don't remember what they're called. That one's got a big spike on it's end - it might getcha!! hehehehehehehe"

That one went into the box of cuttings. I did not want to kill it, but I did not want to encounter it again.

AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED????

I found ANOTHER ONE. Only this one was about half the size of the other and had WHITE PEARLS ATTACHED TO IT'S BACK!! They looked like little freshwater pearls, although I'm sure it was not making a fashion statement for the larvae world. I'm sure they were eggs just waiting to be incubated in some cozy tomato. Still, I named her 'June' and was openly sorry that I put 'Ward' in the box ... but I wasn't going to dig him out of it.

THEN wee, little, gorgeous Henry came home from tee-ball.

And a science project was born.

henry: COOL!!!!

henry's dad: thanks. zippy.

zippy: YOU BETCHA!!


3. Sunday, Jesus wept

And he's going to keep on weeping, thank you very much, especially if I keep paying the bills on that day.

It was such a nice day, though. I'd have felt downright reverent about it were it not for the t-shirt I wore that read: "The Bible Makes Me HORNY!"

"Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins."

What's not to like about the Song of Solomon (7:2-3)?


Needless-to-say, I did not leave the house all day.