It's about absence. Of being in one place and not seen. It's about depending on yourself and no one else because you never were able to, not really. From the get-go, those around you failed you. Somehow. to the point that when you were finally able to depend on somone else, you didn't recognize it, and you let them go. But then you graduated from therapy and let someone else into your heart, close, closer still than anyone ever before, possibly ever again. So when they let you down, you return immediately to the feeling of absence, as though you were never there. Because why would you be there in the first place?