Tonight I am drinking Spanish wine, garnet red. The wonder dog sleeps by my feet, twitching as she runs through her puppy dreams. The cat is curled up in a dining room chair. shhhhhh.... no one tell mr. zippy.

Tonight I have been going through my mother's things. I bought a new jewelry box today, after twelve years of using hers. This time last year I removed the oddities in it that could still be put to use by someone other than me. Like her leather passport wallet. It was too large for me. I've never left the country. Not really. I mean, half a mile into Mexico and all they check on your return is your driver's license anyway. I wonder how strict Canada is?

But tonight is different than that night a year ago when I first cleared out her memories. Tonight I have three different piles:

1. Return to Alan -- cuff links, etc., items he took into their marriage that I didn't realize I had.

2. Pass on -- an angel pin far more appropriate for Michelle than for me; a pair of earrings for my sister-in-law (my mother's voice telling me "because he loves her"); a box of love a friend had given to her who knows when, that she kept for the rest of her life, that now wants a new home and I know a good one for it.

3. What the fuck???? -- does real gold turn colors?? is it safe to throw away?? can this silver from Siam be repaired?? an antique watch - her grandmother's? great grandmother's??? OooOOOooooooooOOO I think I'll wear these....

I found a necklace Huggy gave me last year, when I drove him from Arizona to California. It's silver and opal (I think). This from a homeless man on welfare. It was ugly then, but beautiful now. I wish he'd call. Typical.

I think it's interesting that I have chosen to parcel out the very last of my mother's estate now that I'm putting a privacy fence around my home.

I bought new eyeglass frames on Saturday. No lenses as yet. I paid the piper for the frames but the glasses themselves are free. Or, rather, via the VA. How free is that? Pretty free in my case, as I didn't give them much in exchange for diabetes some seventeen years ago, but by now I've lived w/ the disease far longer than I was on active duty, so...