ok. just off the phone w/ my Huggy. he's a mess. I expect him to die sooner rather than later. it would probably be a blessing for him, though.


My brother is mentally ill, homeless, diabetic w/ degenerative disc disease. He has lost 90 lbs in the last two months during which time he has been in and out of intensive care 5 times. He does not take care of his diabetes and now he looks like a cancer victim - and has convinced himself he is a cancer victim (w/out having any tests to go on). Part of this is the baggage of our mother's lingering death to cancer that weighs heavily on him (as he sees his own emaciated self in the mirror). Most likely, it is his diabetes completely out of control and w/out proper care he will not recover. But he is homeless (read: w/out insurance to pay the costs) and therefore "expendable" to those responsible for his care.

You have to understand something, too: he is homeless by choice. Our other brother and I have done everything we can for him but he has abused our relationships consistently throughout our entire lives and we have both reached the point that we will extend ourselves only so much. We cannot have him live w/ us ever again. Huggy knows this, and he knows why. He may never admit to it freely, but he knows.

And you have to understand something else, as well: it breaks my heart.