hooooo boy, it's been a long month.

after three months of going through the system the way i'm supposed to but to no avail, I finally managed to get my VA doc to renew a script for something I use w/ my insulin pump. but because i was on my last one, I NEEDED to get the new script ASAP so she said SURE! COME ON IN AND GET IT! so, that evening, I rang the pharmacy inquiring if I could pick it up the next day (Saturday) and they said SURE! COME ON IN AND GET IT! so, Saturday afternoon i head over there, wait in line only to be told OH, WE NEVER KEEP THOSE ON HAND - WE'LL HAVE TO ORDER IT! AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! after being told they had no control over what my doctor tells me (ISN'T THAT SMART AND FUNNY????), i marched myself into the nearest bathroom, FURIOUS, and broke down into tears. i just sobbed.

once I got it together, although still thoroughly pissed off but able to control myself, i went to the emergency room and waited for them to give me insulin and syringes as that's what I'll have to resort to doing (shots every other hour) once the link I have currently attached runs out. FOUR HOURS LATER I gave up. I walked out w/ nothing more than a bad attitude.

the only positive thing about the entire afternoon spent at the VA was meeting three lovely children w/ their (veteran) grandparents who'd recently adopted them after some trauma w/ their mother left them in foster care in Ohio. I was also able to assist a man who CLEARLY was in agony and being unassisted. When his daughter finally arrived on the scene, he'd been there just as long as i had and was literally trembling every time he tried to move. it took her all of two seconds w/ her hands on her hips to get him some much needed help. And that's when I left.

the VA has one doctor on call in the ER - one doctor, ever. I left after four hours but not before encouraging every single person there to write to their congress representatives AS EACH OF YOU SHOULD TOO! especially if you know a veteran who must depend on the VA for their healthcare.

And today when inquiring of getting an HIV test, I'm told I can't w/out meeting my doctor. The same woman who failed to return my HELLO I'M SELF MUTILATING call for three days. The same woman who failed to return my HELLO CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME THE RESULTS OF MY PULMINORY TESTING LIKE YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD call for three Weeks. three fucking weeks.

three days, that I hate to see arrive..

threeeee days, that I, hate to be alive....

threeeee-eeeee-- days, filled with pain and sorrow....

yesterday
today
and
tomorrrow


(thank you willie nelson)