I just realized that if you visit Jeremy Cole's web site (link on zippy stats) and look under his "personal" page, you will find a picture of zippy and mr. zippy taken five years ago.

I've just brought the dog home from the vet where I discovered she LEAPS! into the bath tub. NOT squirms away from, cowers from, suddenly gained 100 lbs. by the sheer proximity of BUT LEAPS! into the bath tub.

I'm never wrestling that dog into the shower again.

"I would like to en-chant you, to give you my poems in my own voice. Whether across my kitchen table with candles burning and shadows dancing on our faces or at a smal theater where you come to hear me read, whether in a circle where you share in return your own poems or even on the radio, I would want to give you not only these words but the sound of them, the spaces in between where I breathe out and breathe in, where we wait on each other's inspirations. Since this wish of presence is not always possible I would ask that you sound these words as you read them, that you find space for your breath, that you en-chant yourself or others with these sounds and silences and that in doing so you make these songs your own."


-- Franklin Abbott, introduction to "Mortal Love"

Tonight I am drinking Spanish wine, garnet red. The wonder dog sleeps by my feet, twitching as she runs through her puppy dreams. The cat is curled up in a dining room chair. shhhhhh.... no one tell mr. zippy.

Tonight I have been going through my mother's things. I bought a new jewelry box today, after twelve years of using hers. This time last year I removed the oddities in it that could still be put to use by someone other than me. Like her leather passport wallet. It was too large for me. I've never left the country. Not really. I mean, half a mile into Mexico and all they check on your return is your driver's license anyway. I wonder how strict Canada is?

But tonight is different than that night a year ago when I first cleared out her memories. Tonight I have three different piles:

1. Return to Alan -- cuff links, etc., items he took into their marriage that I didn't realize I had.

2. Pass on -- an angel pin far more appropriate for Michelle than for me; a pair of earrings for my sister-in-law (my mother's voice telling me "because he loves her"); a box of love a friend had given to her who knows when, that she kept for the rest of her life, that now wants a new home and I know a good one for it.

3. What the fuck???? -- does real gold turn colors?? is it safe to throw away?? can this silver from Siam be repaired?? an antique watch - her grandmother's? great grandmother's??? OooOOOooooooooOOO I think I'll wear these....

I found a necklace Huggy gave me last year, when I drove him from Arizona to California. It's silver and opal (I think). This from a homeless man on welfare. It was ugly then, but beautiful now. I wish he'd call. Typical.

I think it's interesting that I have chosen to parcel out the very last of my mother's estate now that I'm putting a privacy fence around my home.

I bought new eyeglass frames on Saturday. No lenses as yet. I paid the piper for the frames but the glasses themselves are free. Or, rather, via the VA. How free is that? Pretty free in my case, as I didn't give them much in exchange for diabetes some seventeen years ago, but by now I've lived w/ the disease far longer than I was on active duty, so...

Reading Revealing Rebecca S.... makes me think of my own humble place in this world.

Whatever happened to basic honesty?

Truth is too elusive. It wanders about, flitting in and out of absolutely everyone's lives, and yet recognizing Truth is as impossible as catching light. It's there. You know it's there. But how do you grasp it? How do you make it consistent?

Huggy got out of jail on Monday. He rang me up before he was released to tell me he was hitting the streets again. This time, he's been released to an out-patient drug diversion program and three years probation. I urged him again to get into a group home, an environment where he knows he does better (versus floundering on his own). He agreed and started to cry.

"Sometimes I think it would be easier if you didn't love me," he said.

"Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind before, but you're not any different than the rest of us and I'll keep on loving that part of you that is lovable and keep on hoping that the asshole in you goes away."

I then told him I could no longer help him financially, which made him cry even more. "You can call me any time, but don't ask me for anything. I don't have it to give any more."

He was supposed to call me the next night, but I am yet to hear from him.


Jimmy phoned after that, begging me not to hate him.

"I don't hate you, Jimmy."

"I just say stupid stupid things sometimes and I don't mean them. I'm so sorry I hurt you, and I want to apologize to mr. zippy if he'll let me."

"I don't know that he will, Jimmy."

And then he cried.

"Please don't hate me," he said again. "This shouldn't be happening to us - not to you and me, zippy, not to you and me."

How is it that we're all so broken?

I know how. I just wish I could heal it somehow, but know that I cannot.

Tuesday conversation in zippy's world...


her: you should get Lasik done on your eyes.

me: I can't.

her: oh, don't be a big wuss. it's painless! there's nothing to it! look at me! I'm eyewear free as of last Monday!!

me: I really can't.

her: YOU BIG PUSSY!! man, I hope I'm not as scared of shit when I'm as old as you.

me: I have artificial lens implants in my eyes.

her: KEWL!!

me: they're bionic.

her: REALLLY??

me: and they're green.

her: yeah! yeah! I thought you had hazel eyes but YOU'RE RIGHT! THEY ARE GREEN!

me: now when I get annoyed by someone, they pop out and THWACK! the person I'm talking to.

her: ...

Alrighty then. I think my desire to shake things up around here is sated for the time being.

You will now find all my beeyootimous links under "zippy stats" where they belong.

You will also find zippy stats updated for the first time since zippy satellite was established. LONG! LIVE! ZIPPY! SATELLITE!

I'm still tickled w/ the guest map so MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR PIN IN IT! Even the queen has ... you know who you are... :=)


It's a gorgeous day here in zippy's world. The uber dog is snoring so loudly I no longer have trouble sleeping, as it sounds just like mr. zippy were here and not away. I am a work widow *weep*.

"I'm sorry Mr. Crazy Horse but we've already taken too much of your blood..."

check out the Sherman Alexie poem in Quote of the Day.


MY NEW FAVORITE DORK SITE OMG OMG OMG!!!!! CHECK IT OUT!!!

http://www.durandurantimeline.com/

dude, seriously, disturbing.

Check out Joshilyn Jackson's link to the right as well. Get a taste of her writing style and see why the publishing world is all a titter with her first book coming out in Spring '05, "gods in Alabama" -- woo hoo!

I'm also pleased to point out the new map link -- let me know where you're peeking in from! Leave your own little blotter on zippy's map of the world.

cheers!

zippy

HEY KIDS! the email link to the right is working now, so LAY SOME SMACK ON ME!

Hey everyone! Check out the new look of Seaside Music Theater in the links section (to the right... no, your OTHER right... that's right! yeah! there! RIGHT THERE!)

Without intending to do so, I've changed the template of zippy's world. In the process I have lost all my links to some very wonderful and incredible folks out there. If you are one of those, or if you just happen to be incredible and have a worthy url, please send it my way.

try zipmutt@yahoo.com

I still haven't figured out how to put the "lay some smack on me" link back in here... but I will.

cheers!

zippy

Hear that giant sucking sound? It's George Dubya Bush playing President.

Here's yet another reason to hate Dubya, as if we actually needed another one...

Our wilderness legacy was effectively established by President Theodore Roosevelt (check out the quote of the day). Here's a rundown of the Presidents who have preserved it...

Lyndon Johnson - 9,900,000 acres

Richard Nixon - 1,600,000 acres

Gerald Ford - 3,100,000 acres

Jimmy Carter - 66,300,000 acres (my personal hero)

Ronald Reagan - 10,600,000 acres (wow! who'da thunk it??)

GHW Bush - 4,000,000 acres

Bill Clinton - 9,500,000 acres

Dubya - 500,000 acres (that's right folks, 500thousand,
not million, acres.)

Dubya is pushing for even more invasive destruction of our nation's protected acres and it's only a matter of time before he dismantles every preservation established before him.

I think Teddy saw Dubya coming, like Nostradamus saw Hitler hundreds of years in the future.

It's also important to note that Dubya has installed new regulations for nuclear power in the US. Instead of having a verifiable safety equipment in place in every nuclear power plant in America, he's signed off on what the Sierra Club calls a "Harrison Ford solution: in the event of fire or other disaster, heroic technicians would be designated to run through the flames and operate the equipment by hand."

Thank you, Dubya. Good night America.

I'm looking at an issue of Tin House (literary magazine) and read the following poem that I thought perfectly suitable for my recent lament w/ familial racism.

The Blue Strom

Never let the ink
of biographers touch you,
but if it happens
learn what you can
of their withcraft.
It will be useful
should you ever find yourself
without linen.
I would never have risen
above backwoods,
bow-tied Superintendent
or circuit judge had I not studied
the alchemy of metaphor.
There are maybe two dozen gaps
in a given sentence.
Never mistake silence
for death or obedience.
Just becaue an anthem can't be heard
over the bluegrass
of lawn parties and amphitheaters
doesn't mean it can't be sung.
If you stand on the porch
of the state house on a Sunday
you will hear the great flag
of the confederacy.
On some occasions
you may have to lower an earlobe
to the tongue whipping in the mouth
of the one Negro servant
who remains when everything else
is burned. Avoid anyone,
even your secretary, who talks
openly about revenge.
Master the filibuster,
for it will wear out the sentries
of heaven. Cultivate horticulture.
Marry after forty. Outlaw basketball.
Outlaw school buses. Outlaw
the manufacturing of transistors.
Outlaw jive-talk and rhythm.
If you intend to be re-elected
certain moods must be abolished,
it goes without saying. Remember
your duty. If you must apologize,
let it be in a language no one comprehends.

-- Terrence Hayes

Wednesday conversation in zippy's world...


"Say hi to mr. zippy for us."

"Are you sure you want me to do that?"

"What? Yeah, why not?"

"Well, in light of your racial views on the Japanese."

"Oh, come on."

"It was offensive what you said to me."

"I wasn't even thinking."

"Right. Especially when I reminded you of my Japanese mother-in-law remembering that bomb going off and you said 'as far as I'm concerned we should have dropped another one on them."

"I was only joking."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"No you weren't."

"Ok. Whatever you say."

"I say you weren't joking and you'll never convince me otherwise."

"Ok."

"Anything else I can do for you right now?"

"Nope."

"See ya."

"Bye."