for some strange genie reason, I am unable to view my blog. I know that sounds funny as here I am typing in a brand new post, but the fact is I CANNOT SEE MY BLOG.

sigh.

so, instead, I offer you all the Colin Hay lyric that had me weeping as I gazed at a photo of my husband . . . he's so amazing, he breaks my heart. I just don't think I will ever get over him.

I drink good coffee every morning.
It comes from a place far away.
And when I'm done I feel
like talking.
Without you here there's
so much less to say.
I don't want you thinking
that I'm unhappy.
What's closer to the truth is
that if I lived until I was
one hundred and two
I just don't htink I'll ever
get over you.
I'm no longer moved
to drink strong whiskey.
I shook the hand of time
and I knew:
If I lived until I could no longer
climb my stairs,
I just don't think I'll ever
get over you.
A face that dances, and it haunts me.
your laughter still ringing
in my ears.
I still find pieces of your presence
here -- even after all these years.
And I don't want you thinking
that I don't get asked to dinner.
Because I'm here to tell you that
sometimes I do.
Even though I may soon feel
the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get
over you.

conversation in zippy's world. . .

me: If we ever get divorced, all I want is my new pot. You can have everything else.

him: I want that in writing.

me: You got it, babe. . . . I love my new pot.

him: You're insane.

me: You knew that when you married me.

Two words for the ladies:

Electric Razor.

Two more words for the ladies:

Wet / Dry.

When first contemplating an electric razor, I thought I'd have to spend so much money on it that I actually put it on my Christmas wish list instead. (mr. zippy failed to come through in this wee area - he's more than forgiven).

The first one I bought was a $15 pink and white (more white than pink) job that turned out to be more difficult to use than it was worth. I spent a good 40 minutes in the shower slowly raking my legs but there those nasty little hairy things were almost immediately.

The second one I bought for about $9 and, ladies, IT ROCKS!!!! 3 minutes, tops, and I was done w/ both legs -- btw... I have very very long legs (a 34" inseam, thank you very much). This one is operated on 2 AA batteries, I picked it up at the pharmacy of all places (CVS in this case, could be Walgreens et al). The name of this one is Lady Shave Ms. (TM) Wet/Dry Electric Razor with a bright yellow sticker labeled TRY ME! on the front panel. And, if in a dire case of emergency, it could double as a personal pleasure device -

JUST THINK! NO MORE EMBARRASSING BAGGAGE HANDLER MOMENTS! NO MORE BLUSHING CHEEKS WHEN GOING THROUGH AIRPORT SECURITY! NO MORE NAGGING SENSATION THAT YOUR MORE MANLY THAN MAN HANDY GADGET WAS VIOLATED EN ROUTE!

ohhhh... how sweet it is...

What on EARTH could POSSIBLY be REMOTELY BETTER than a GI-NOR-MOUS navel orange, sliced into JUICY JUICE wedges with the manna of the fruit DRIZZLING off your fingertips onto the keyboard as you blog???

TWO! TWO JUICY JUICE GI-NOR-MOUS NAVEL ORANGES SLICED INTO WEDGES THAT YOU CAN MAKE FUNNY SUNSHINE SMILEY FACES WITH - or freeze to use for zest in a later recipe TRA LA!

mr. zippy is out of town so tonight I'm cooking a big pot of FART FOOD (mmmm... cabbage....)... cabbage, carrots, snap peas, mushrooms, onions, olive oil - not bacon, as I've recently given up eating pork (although I somehow still keep finding it on my plate and, admittedly, WOULD HAVE USED IT TONIGHT had it just been THAWED).

tomorrow night: GARLIC. (mmmm... garlic....)

Is taking three heavy reading on-line courses a good thing for a procrastinator to do??

hmmm.... perhaps.... not....

Just now, the city is taking out limbs from the trees in my front yard that it deems "in the way" - but they refuse to take out the tree that is leaning on the one wire and destined to fall sooner rather than later (it's old, and rotted and dead dead dead).

They've been out there for hours already and only now have my fearless mutts realized.

This blog title: THE HOUNDS OF THE MIDDLE CLASS. Or: HOW I ACQUIRED A BLEEDING HEART, LOST MY JEWELS TO A BURGLAR AND RESCUED TWO SHELTER MUTTS WHILE LISTENING TO VAGINA MUSIC AND CHAINSAWS JUST OUTSIDE MY DOOR.

We have a racoon in our crawl space. In fact, I think I may be sitting on top of it at this very moment. We think it's a racoon. It could be an opossum or a rat. EEK! But we had a racoon in our garage several weeks ago, gnawing down on the cat's food and suddenly we have something under our feet gnawing on WHAT?? WIRES?? WOOD??? GAS LINE??? mr. zippy heard it wrenching the crawl space door open the other night but I've been listening to it building its nest below for a few days.

him: "If we were rednecks we'd just let the hounds loose on it."

me: "That would be cruel to our hounds."

Racoons are vicious but CUTE killer critters. And besides... the hounds in question only JUST recognized the men sawing limbs in the front yard. So a critter catcher is due to set a trap this afternoon. We had our choice of two, one that euthenized "Because the state requires it" and the other eunethizes only if the critter tests positive for rabies otherwise they release into the wild ("But shhh, don't tell anyone, we could lose our license.")

Guess which one we chose? heh.

OH. COME. ON!!!

critter catcher: "We're using a new vaccine that the racoons ingest so it's getting to the critter population more easily."

me: "I was unaware."

critter catcher: "This is their land we're invading. They have to go some place. May as well be miles in the woods away from us instead of the incinerator."

this blog title: HOW MY BLEEDING HEART HELPED HONEST CRITTERS ESCAPE THE BIG UGLY MAN.

las musicas en la casa de zippy:

Rachael Yamagata - Happenstance (think Fiona Apple, Norah Jones and Joan Osbourne... sort of) - really diggin' it!

Por Vida (a tribute to Alejandro Escovedo) - BRILLIANT!!! FRELLING BRILLIANT!!!!!!

kd lang - Hymns of the 49th Parallel - (no oleo here - this woman's voice is pure buttah!!)

Loretta Lynn - Van Lear Rose - BRILLIANT!! (although less enjoyable than Por Vida)

Michelle Shocked - Mercury Poise: 1988-1995 (an excellent 'best of'- but I HEART Michelle Shocked, as should you!)

Los Lonely Boys - REALLY REALLY makes me want to move back to Austin!! (hope the accusations against the drummer aren't true).

The Chieftains - Wide World Over (what can I say? It's the Chieftains. always good).

Nancy Wilson - RSVP (lovely)

San Ilya - They Died for Beauty (LOVE.THIS.CD.!!!! always in rotation.)

Dido - Life For Rent (very enjoyable)

and of course, Miles Davis -- Sketches of Spain y Kind of Blue.

;-)

I lived in this small town when I was a kid. This was the trailer park we lived in before we moved to the property in Floral City... I say that but the only thing I actually remember about this place (physically) was that big freaking boot!!!!

Wednesday was kinda scary in zippy's world . . .

there I was on campus, on the top floor of the E Bldg when I realized my blood sugar was dropping. I tried getting juice from the machine, but it wouldn't take my dollar bill. so I got a Mounds Bar instead (out of the candy bar machine not the juice machine DUH!). now, as blood sugar fixes go, Mounds is usually a good one. Mounds and Almond Joy. That's right; this was an Almond Joy. I think it's the sweet coconut that hooks me right up. Usually.

so I down the Almond Joy, sat there several minutes talking w/ an classmate from last semester, and then got up to go, feeling so much better. Until I actually stood up. At that point I started seeing double.

she: Are you ok?

me: Oh yeah, I just stood up too quickly.

we parted ways and I began to go downstairs... but I was managed only two steps and I had to stop for fear of falling over. I seriously could not see straight.

for me, this is typically a sign of very low blood sugar, but I knew I'd eaten that Almond Joy and it should've kicked in by now. so I waited a few minutes more, stood up again and again with the double vision. so I gnoshed some Lifesavers I had in my purse, waited a few minutes longer and began my trek down the hallway once again.

I made it to the bathroom wall. not even inside the bathroom, just to the exterior wall of the bathroom that I leaned against and closed my eyes and waited... and waited...

and then I took three steps the the stairs and began my descent.

one step at a time. like a child fearful of falling. because I was still losing my vision.

(and I KNOW by now you are thinking to yourself WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BE STILL?????? low blood sugar, like that, often causes the afflicted to make irrational choices.)

somehow I managed all three flights of stairs to the ground floor hallway. it was between classes, but there weren't many people about. however, I could see several just outside the glass doors on the breeze way, smoking.

I made my way there and to the first person sitting directly in front of me as I exited the building I said:

"CAN YOU HELP ME??"

he and his smoking buddy looked at me quizically, as did everyone else sitting around.

me: NO. REALLY. SERIOUSLY. CAN YOU HELP ME?

a third young man walking by stopped and asked "DO YOU NEED HELP?"

me: YES. I NEED HELP.

At which point I started falling over and all the boys scampered to their feet to give me the bench.

me: I'm a diabetic and my blood sugar is dropping fast. I need juice or Coke or --

girl to the side: I HAVE AN APPLE!

me: It's not quick enough.

me: (to boys again): CAN YOU GET ME SOME JUICE OR A COKE OR --

girl to the side: I HAVE AN APPLE!

me: IT WON'T WORK FAST ENOUGH! I NEED JUICE OR A SODA WITH SUGAR

boy #1: I don't have any money --

me: I HAVE MONEY (I gave him my wallet as his companion stood there with mouth gaping) I NEED JUICE OR A COKE --

boy #1: what do you need?

me: I NEED JUICE ANY KIND OF JUICE OR A REGULAR COKE--

boy #1: Juice or a Coke. Got it.

and he ran up the stairs toward the gedunk shop and disappeared.

me: Now I'm crying. Don't freak out. It's the blood sugar.

boy #2 stood before me, eyes wide, lips parted as I wiped the mascara running down my cheek.

me: I'm sorry.

boy #2: Don't worry. it's ok.

I pulled out my glucometer and with hands shaking so that I had trouble getting the test strip in the meter, checked my blood sugar. After the Almond Joy and the Lifesavers it was 50 and I was a basket case.

boy #1 came running back: I didn't know what you wanted so I got apple and grapefruit juice.

me: PERFECT. Perfect. God bless you. Thank you. (I was still weeping as I downed the apple juice until a spike of freeze struck my temple lobe and I had to stop drinking the cold liquid momentarily to let my brain thaw).

boys #1 & 2: Are you ok?

me: I will be. Yes. Thank you. You saved my life. Thank you so much.

Boy #1 returned my wallet and change (including the 3¢ clearly from the purchase, which I thought was sweet). I looked behind me and the area was cleared of people.

me: there was a girl over there wasn't there?

boy #2: yeah, she left.

me: do you know her?

boy #2: no.

me: If you see her, thank her for me.

boy #2: ok. are you going to be alright?

me: yes. Yes. I'll be ok. Thank you so much.

they went to class, as did everyone else in the area, then the original (third) young man came back and checked on me. then a teacher came out for a smoke and stood w/ me for a bit before hustling to her own class.

then I called mr. zippy and continued to weep. I had to check my blood sugar three more times over the next half hour before he would let me drive myself home. by the time I left the campus, my blood sugar was up to 100 and I was already feeling hungover. I came home and napped with the doggies, both quite happy to snuggle up with me in the afternoon.

I haven't had that sort of episode in years and years. even mr. zippy doesn't remember the last time such a thing happened to me. I'm not even sure what prompted it, but I can tell you this: the reaction of those youngsters, the young man who ran for juice (and returned my wallet in tact), the young man who stood with me (even though he was clearly terrified), the young girl who offered me her apple - twice - and the young man who came back and checked on me... they give me hope for kids today.

Just when you think you've heard enough horror stories about Generation X to condemn them all to hell, a handful of strangers come through to save another one's life.

It's a beautiful thing.

conversations in zippy's world...


him: hey, could you massage my back?

me: yeah. I could.

him: I fart in your general direction.

. . .

me: how's that? better?

him: yeah. thanks.

me: you ought to get a real massage.

him: so you keep saying.

me: it's the perfect addiction. only positive side effects.

him: I'll keep thinking about it.

me: sure you will.

him: can you get my shirts tomorrow?

me: yeah. I could.

him: I fart in your general direction.

We've been car shopping lately.

mr. zippy drives an BMW 320i and although DON'T THAT SOUND COOL??? but it's a 1983 - the 320i is one of the very first in the particularly sporty Bimmer series. for a 22 year old car, it still drives GREAT! I mean REALLY - it's LOADS of fun to tool around in, but the seats are so worn they need replacing and we can't seem to find them anywhere. Not even in junk yards, which is the one place we ought to be able to find them now, but I guess we aren't the only folks on the market for old buckets. and it has an air / heating problem. it works, but then... it don't.

so, we've been car shopping. we're getting rid of our debt because, for us, it's either credit cards or car payments. we haven't had a car payment in nine years - but we've been living high on the hog! not that we have anything to show for it (I HEART MY NEW PURSE!) - and it will take some adjusting to snip! snip! snip! those plastic devils out of my spending habits, but it will be worth it. our new car is a '93 truck, so, yeah, I think it's time one of us upgraded and it may as well be him since he's the one making all the money I keep spending.

First we test drove the Mazda RX8 ??? is that the right number??? the sporty model they have out right now that is REALLY REALLY SEXY and holds us very long people quite comfortably. but reviews say it eats oil. not a good thing in a brand new car.

Then we test drove the Mustang GT - S.W.E.E.T!!! whew!!! SWEET! I couldn't believe it, but we actually drove the V8 - and are seriously considering the freaking V*8*!! but the dealer wanted $4k over sticker and we weren't prepared to go there.

"Besides," mr. zippy said. "I want to see what the convertable model looks like."

Woah. Dude.

him: "What?"

me: "You hate convertibles."

him: "But you don't."

me: "This is your middle aged crazy, not mine."

him: "It's not a middle aged crazy!"

me: "You think a 46 year old man driving a 20 year old boy's car isn't a middle aged crazy?"

him: "NO!"

me: "Or are you just telling me to wait for it?"

him: "THAT'S it, baby, you ain't seen nothing yet."

let me just say, last night, when going down for sleep, someone who is not typing this message let the dogs out. before that someone did, the person typing this message said: "Better take him on his leash, or he won't come back in. You'll be up all night waiting for him to tire out."

But the person typing this message was utterly, completely ignored.

Then the person who let the dogs out decided he'd had enough of playing coax the doggie back indoors and came to bed. And left the dog barking in the back yard. And wouldn't get up to make him stop or try to coax him indoors again.

so the person typing this message threw a hissy fit, launched herself out of bed, into her clothes, slamming doors and stomping everywhere.

"Just let him stay out there," said the person who let him out, now warmly snuggled in bed.

"BARKING ALL NIGHT???" said the person who is typing this letter who did not let the dog out.

"BRILLIANT! REALLY BRILLIANT!" stomp stomp stomp stomp.

THREE HOURS LATER I finally managed to catch the little fucker by the collar and drag him - FIGHTING ME - all the way in.


AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED???

An hour or so later, the original doggy zippy who has for NINE YEARS been a pretty well behaved animal (except, you know, when she'd get off her leash and haul ass saying CATCH ME IF YOU CAN! NYA! NYA! NYAAA!) decides she belongs in zippy's bed - between the mr and the mrs zippy - and REFUSES TO BUDGE WHEN SHE'S TOLD TO GET DOWN. R.E.F.U.S.E.S. Looks at me like I've got two heads and was speaking Martian (which, btw, I've only JUST begun lessons in, so the odd chances she'd actually understand what I was saying in Martian was slim, at best). I finally pushed her off the bed - PUSHED HER OFF THE BED THIS FORTY POUND ANIMAL WHO'S ALWAYS BEEN SO NICE AND EAGER TO PLEASE UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT and she LANDS WITH A THUD! She'd been THAT SURE she belonged on the bed.


AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED??

This morning, when the doggies plural went outdoors again, younger doggy zippy is expected not to want to come back indoors, but original doggy zippy always comes running back in WHY? BECAUSE SHE'D RATHER BE INDOORS THAN OUT ALWAYS HAS - but NOOoOoOOooOoooOOOOOoOoOooOoOooOOoOo!!!!!!

SHE'S IN! SHE'S OUT! SHE'S IN! SHE'S OUT!


. . . someone is having a bad influence on our old gal. . . . someone is definitely getting a chain to poop on and obedience training PRONTO.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

In this first, bright morning of 2005, I am grateful to have my love alive and healthy beside me; not a bad way to start the year, eh?

I am grateful my doggies zippy and kitty zippy are all swell and not traumatized by last night's fire works... displays... fireworks displays.

I am grateful my many varied friends share their lives with me. I am so very blessed in that regard.

I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and a full cupboard and canpay my bills, however much I moan about it.

I am grateful the sun came up again.

And more than anything else this morning, I am REALLY VERY GRATEFUL for having discovered THIS RANT that had me HOWLING with laughter bright and early this morning.

Cheers one and all!

May God's love be with you, always.